entry

so i know every one has flaws but for me my biggest flaw is my fears.I know what your thinking "her fears i mean everyone has fears how is that a flaw" well my fears and thoughts aren't...normal,but who is i mean surly im not the only one with these thoughts and fears.my biggest fear is my thoughts,and my thoughts are suicidal.ive had these problems alot i don't know why but ever since i was a kid i would either say i hated my life or something along the lines of i wish i was dead.I usually start having these thoughts when i have panic attacks.panic attacks have always been a problem for me ill just be doing my thing then all of a sudden something will happen to my body at the most random time.it will just...change in a way i cant describe.its like my chest hurts like someones inside of me beating on my chest then ill start to have suicidal thoughts after that ill start to have blurry vision and its like im suffocating but i can still breathing.