Me And My Flaws

there once was a person who taught me don't give a shit what people say that person was my best friend she always told me not to let the people who treated me like crap get to me she taught me that not by words but by her actions she doesn't care what people think of her or how her hair looks or how people call her emo when shes the sweetest most caring person she also doesn't pay attention to the people who talk trash to her or call her names or pick on the way she walks,talks,acts,reacts,or even simple fact that she can be who she wants to be without caring if any one cares cause she is who she is and if you wanna do some crazy shit,do some crazy shit if you wanna dye your hair then dye your hair my point is be who wanna be,be the person you've always secretly wanted to be without caring if anyone judges you,step out be bold go crazy and if you don't want to you don't have to you can be the girl that sits in the corner of the library reading the same book over

so i know every one has flaws but for me my biggest flaw is my fears.I know what your thinking "her fears i mean everyone has fears how is that a flaw" well my fears and thoughts aren't...normal,but who is i mean surly im not the only one with these thoughts and fears.my biggest fear is my thoughts,and my thoughts are suicidal.ive had these problems alot i don't know why but ever since i was a kid i would either say i hated my life or something along the lines of i wish i was dead.I usually start having these thoughts when i have panic attacks.panic attacks have always been a problem for me ill just be doing my thing then all of a sudden something will happen to my body at the most random time.it will just...change in a way i cant describe.its like my chest hurts like someones inside of me beating on my chest then ill start to have suicidal thoughts after that ill start to have blurry vision and its like im suffocating but i can still breathing.